Body image

Body image isn’t just “how you look.” It’s the relationship you have with your body—what you notice, what you believe, and how you treat yourself because of it. That’s why two people can have the exact same body size and feel completely different: one feels neutral and steady, the other feels trapped, ashamed, or obsessed. If body image has been heavy for you, there’s nothing “silly” about it. It hits identity, belonging, safety, and self-worth all at once.

Why body image feels louder than it should

1) Your brain is built to scan for social danger.

Humans survived by staying connected to the group. So when culture sends messages like “be smaller,” “be younger,” “be flawless,” your nervous system can read it like: If I don’t fit, I’ll be rejected. That’s not vanity—that’s a threat response.

2) The mirror becomes a mood meter.

When you’re stressed, tired, lonely, or unsure in life, your mind looks for something concrete to control. The body is an easy target because it’s visible. Suddenly body checking, comparing, or “fixing” feels like problem-solving—even when it actually makes you feel worse.

3) “Perfect” is profitable.

A lot of industries make money when you feel slightly unacceptable. If you’ve been taught to constantly improve your appearance, it can feel almost wrong to stop. Like you’re “letting yourself go,” when really you’re letting yourself breathe.

The loop that keeps people stuck

Body image struggles often follow a simple loop:

1. You feel uncomfortable (stress, shame, boredom, anxiety).

2. You focus on your body (“I look awful”).

3. You try to fix it fast (restrict, over-exercise, check mirrors, avoid photos, hide).

4. Temporary relief… then the discomfort returns, usually stronger.

5. The brain learns: Body control = safety.

So the goal isn’t “love your body every day.” The goal is to break the loop and build a calmer, more respectful relationship with your body—one that doesn’t depend on mood or mirrors.

What actually helps (and doesn’t require pretending)

1) Shift from “body love” to body respect

On hard days, “I love my body” can feel fake. Try respect instead:

• “My body deserves care even when I don’t like it.”

• “I don’t need to approve of my appearance to treat myself well.”

• “This body carries my life.”

Respect is quieter than love—and often more realistic.

2) Learn the difference between appearance thoughts and value truths

When you hear: “I look disgusting,” practice labeling it:

• “That’s a body-judgment thought.”

Not a fact. Not a prophecy. Not your identity.

Then add a grounded response, like:

• “I’m having a rough moment. My brain is doing the comparison thing again.”

This isn’t positive thinking. It’s accuracy.

3) Reduce body checking (it’s gasoline on the fire)

Body checking includes mirror scanning, pinching, measuring, taking lots of photos, repeatedly adjusting clothes, or searching for “proof” you look okay. It seems calming, but it trains your brain to keep obsessing.

Try a simple experiment for one week:

• Choose two mirror moments per day (morning + before leaving).

• In the mirror, look at your whole self, not body parts.

• No zooming in, no fixing, no scanning.

Most people notice the obsession starts to cool down when checking reduces.

4) Build a “comparison boundary” with your phone

If social media makes your body image worse, your brain is not weak—it’s being fed a steady stream of curated bodies and angles.

Pick one boundary:

• Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger you (even if you “admire” them).

• Don’t scroll when you’re hungry, tired, or lonely (highest risk times).

• Replace 10 minutes of scrolling with something that anchors you: music, a walk, texting a friend, stretching.

You don’t need to delete everything. You just need fewer hits of the same poison.

5) Practice “expanding your identity”

Body image gets intense when appearance becomes your main way of measuring your worth. So expand the list.

Write down:

• 5 qualities you value in yourself that are not appearance-related

• 3 roles you care about (friend, parent, partner, professional, artist, etc.)

• 3 moments when your body helped you live (hugging, walking, laughing, working, healing)

This doesn’t erase body discomfort, but it stops it from being the only story.

When it’s more than body image

If your thoughts about food, weight, or exercise feel compulsive, or if you’re constantly distressed, it’s worth getting support. Body image doesn’t have to reach a crisis point to deserve care. Sometimes it’s connected to anxiety, trauma, perfectionism, or a history of being judged. Working with a therapist can help you find the roots—so you’re not just managing symptoms forever.